The Perspective


Yesterday, I was on OWL shift in an experiment and had an American girl in the shift crew. We were casually talking, since the experiment didn’t require much attention on our part of responsibility and at ~ 3 am in the night, we are not in a state of awareness to do anything academically fruitful. After talking for about 8-10 minutes, she shifted from the other questions she was asking about Indian Culture, and said…

“I came to know that in India people don’t have sex before marriage, so then, Is the age of marraige very early ?”

I said NO, she then quickly suplimented the question by

“… what is your age?… are you married? …. I really cannot even remotely understand how does the (social) system work then! ”

I saw a sincere curiosity as she asked all these questions calmly, but in one go.

In trying to understand and answer her question, I realized, how much of a difference can ‘perspective‘ bring to the same question or issue. I put myself in her shoes, trying to imagine a state of mind, which would stem this question in me. I noticed, a part of me begging to look at the obviousness of the question raised, but I still grossly felt as if someone has asked “Why do you say hello when u meet someone” .

Despite the native desires and tendensies being the same, all across the globe, the way we grow adds a ‘tag of obviousness‘ in such a subtle way, that even if we argue and invite criticism in it, the domain in which we even ‘imagine’ may have a zero overlap with another person.

after all the jiggle in my mind, the bottom-line of my answer was “that is how it is !”

… well then, she probably thought that she offended me by her questions, and she changed the topic and started talking about what her other roommate says about her own (eastern) culture.

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This entry was posted in society.

3 comments on “The Perspective

  1. Amit Ranjan says:

    Bhai,v al mst hve felt d same way innumerable times bt either failed to notice or register…Recently while studyin at her study table,my sister’s 8 yr old daughter(she z in stndrd 3) declared dat she z stuck at a multiplctn problm..I promptly rushd 2 help as her final xams were commencing nxt wk..I explained her d way 2 solve those multiplctns involvin 2 or more dan 2 digts..n then went on 2 solve d questn she ws stuck in jst as an example..Then jst 2 make sure,gave her similar problms..i waited patiently bt she cudnt solve them..Again i explained n again she failed 2 answr d nxt one..Aftr i gues 2 mre times,i bluntly said ‘kya Ashu,kitna asaan hai aur tum ye bhi solve nahi kar pa rahi ho..U cant b dat dumb’…
    A sudden wave of regret n guilt took me over N then came an innocent reply..’Mamaji,Aap ye solve karna sheekh gaye hai isliye aapko itna asaan lag raha hai’
    i was struck!!..Doesnt d teacher in my coaching clases feel d same way when we repeatedly failed 2 undrstnd..4 them arent d answers n explantns vry OBVIOUS!!…Its intringuing 2 notice how merely changin sides redefine d whole perspective of a single event..
    I gues our vision n reason encompasses more of relative elements rather dat absolute ones..N dat makes us prone 2 human bias

  2. AMRENDRA says:

    yes bhai,
    we are all on the same scale at different places and at different level of zoom.

  3. Anand says:

    I have had these instances many in the recent times here in Texas as I made friends only with the people from other countries here. An Armenian girl is huge fan of Raj Kapoor, obvious as he was famous in and around Russia. A Moroccan girl is a fan of Sharukh Khan, agreed as she had many other Indian friends in her circle. An Algerian girl is a fan of Indian Marriage system, not so tough to accept as her marriage system is also as complicated and serene as ours. But a Mexican guy asked me a couple of questions. “Why I see so many English words in your language when you speak to people of your own language? Why India has Nuclear Research to such an extent when Indians always talk about peace. Why Indians support the fact of no sex before marriage and compel a couple to live together forever even if they don’t like each other? etc etc.” Well, I was successful in answering his questions and also the other guys’. But after all the discussions with all of them, I realized, there maybe difference in culture, meaning the way we live. But ultimately, they all need the rewards to their actions, meaning consequences. Every religion’s motto is the same, yet there are so many differences. Spirituality can better understood, if people believe in humanity, not in religion or the region of birth. We all are the fruits of the same tree called the World.

    Sorry for this too much stuff Amar bhai. I like your ideals and I told you long ago, I am going join hands with you in many things you do and want to do in future. I still have it in my mind. Go to this link which shows my friend’s visions and actions. I am proud I have such friends like you and these.

    http://www.janyaa.org/

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